人。

做人，真的好难…
好多繁杂的琐事驱使着每个人所拥有的原本纯洁的灵魂去做了好多违背自己意愿的事情，那些所谓社会认为普罗大众都应该做的事情…

现实逼着我们，带上不同的面具，去应对不同类型的人类，不同的事情… 那是必要。做自己，说来容易，看似简单，可当每个人都很放松的做真正的自己的时候，那惨烈的画面，浮现在你脑海里了吗？

亲情，友情，爱情，这些都是人生的根本，尤其亲情。世界上几乎所有人类都是为了这些所谓人生的支点而活着，为了自己而活的，又有多少人？我们舍得放弃这些情，然后做自己，追梦想吗？

自由，谁都向往，像梦一样自由？我们都想… 偏偏这现实把好多好多的绳索栓住自由…由不得你说。

那活着的意义，又是为了什么？他正等待着被摸索… 也许要用一辈子，又也许会是下辈子，或者永远都不会有答案… 只能努力去生活，慢慢探索，人类存在的意义…

開始誠實地面對自己的人生

是說啊，二十都到了，是該好好地為自己的未來打算了嘛。遊戲，開始少玩了，做家務不會再埋怨了，對父母也開始慢慢的不頂撞了，總覺得，二十歲是個轉折點，好像什麼都該變一變似的。人越老，要想的事情就會越多，顧慮也頻頻來襲，甚至會有“做人真的很難！”的念頭出現，或者是“我真的老了嗎？”這五子的疑問出現在腦海裡。天哪，才活了哪區區的二十年，在那邊演什麼老人，吼吼 >.>.. 反正呢，覺得這幾年來，腦子清晰了很多，對於很多的回憶不再像小時候一樣那麼的容易變得模糊，現在是更懂得珍惜回憶的可貴，會多花點力氣去記住它，時不時從腦子裡搬出來想想，當作是助眠的其中一種方式。
寫博客的同時，翻了翻舊文看了看，哇靠，幼稚成那什麼樣子，但我不會刪掉，把這些幼稚的回憶和文字留著，才能感受到自己的成長。

Almost Lifeless x.x.

GUESS WHAT!?

I have nothing at all to write about myself nor ma life.
Or should I say, I have nothing interesting to write about? FML.

I want to live an interesting life :(.
ANEEEWAY, TODAY, FINALLY, I have some interesting 'events' to write about HAHA!

The first interesting thing that happened today is that it is the first time of me getting my hair dyed! In some sort of orange colour :B. Not really noticeable during night time unless under artificial lights. During daytime, the colour should show. I don't know, I must experience it tomorrow morning cause I just finished the dye-ing at 11pm. So yeah, STAY TUNED LOL! I'll have some pictures maybe. For my Instagram, Facebook and Blog. They must be very proud of me, just kidding. :x (They as in my I,F,B.)

The second one is OMG YAY, it's 14th of September, not my birthday or whatsoever but our SEMESTER RESULTS 'COMIN OUT FROM THE OVEN' DAYYYY. WOOHOO, I did not fail any of them instead getting only A and B grades. I wasn't expecting those after the exam but walaaaaa! I'm so happy about it :D. 3.1 CGPA, not very good but at least it's over 3.1. Thank goodness. I have one more subject waiting for me to resit. STRUCTURAL STUDIES. (Subject I hate the most, MATHS!)
TEARSS ;(, MUST GET BETTER IN THE NEXT SEMESTERR. WORK HARD!

By the way, LAZINESS yeah. I have to kinda throw that away.
PLEASE?! I'm beggin myself :(. PUHLEASE!!!

I have to kinda be like the CUTE baby boy in this picha,

'HUAITING'! :B. ( As in fighting in Korean accent :P, learned it from somewhere, kinda forgotten about it already. Either RunningMan or Counsellor show. ROFL)




GO CASPER GO!

人生的階段…

或許，我們希望人生它不分階段。但我們都知道，生活裡的一切都不會跟隨著我們所想的去流動。

對我而言，人生有很多個階段，但怎麼也離不開心和傷心。

是否會經常覺得開心的時間總是短暫的？而傷心的時間卻很難熬，很難過？

: Bluee :O?

: Dark clouds and Rainn :)).
P.S: I like the cold weather xD.

It has been raining for days..
The weather is soo uncertain..
Makes people sick in some way @.@.
Love the cold feeling neeway :D.

Things aren't really going well these days..
Sighs sighs..
It's like the weather x(, stops things to work like how it should..

18 days more until the end of the world? :O.
Whether it's real or not.
Life will still carry on.
Guess we'll just need to move on :).

Moving into a new hostel in this week.
I guess?
Everything will be fine! I believe :D.
Hehe, better environment.
Will be more quiet here..
Can concentrate on stuffs..
No more extra worries..

: I NEED TO FOCUSS!

GAMBATEH for the last few days before 2013 :D.
Time flies..
We needa fly as well LOL.
To chase the footsteps of the tickling time.
Although, we could never reach them..

Good night :)
A short blog post for today.
MUST CONTINUEE this blog from today onwards FOR THE SAKE OF MY BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES :)))!

PLEASE? CONTINUE.. I mean I must continue da bloggg.. -.-.
Blah.

; Casper Loh :).

:'), I will grow stronger.

I was embarrassed in the class during -Measurement ONE-.

I wasn't really happy on that day. Held my tears back and trying to act like nothing had happened.. I actually suffered.. Mentally.

Wasn't really awake at the moment when Teacher called out my name to answer the taking-off questions on the board in front of my classmates. I was shocked and couldn't react on those blurry questions.. She was teaching too fast on that morning :(. I couldn't even remember the timesing column she taught in the previous class....

And finally, I ended up raging Ms. Carlyn up. She said that she is so disappointed,  She said that I did not concentrate in her class. But Ms. Carlyn, I want to tell you that I really concentrated in your class. I don't know why I forgotten how to do the questions but I really really concentrated in your class. Can't you see it? I couldn't do anything on that time but smile in an awkward way.

Although I am facing the whiteboard.. But I can feel that the whole class is looking at my back. I was so embarrassed on that time :(. Nervous but finally completed the questions. I dare not look at any of my classmates when I walked back to my seat. I concentrated (Emo-ed) for 3 hours after the incident.. I don't know what to do.. I don't know what reaction which I should give.. I felt so stupid.. So dumb.. I almost cried but I held my tears back.. What would my classmates think about me?

I am a stupid student.. I can't even answer simple questions.. Simple Mathematical questions... Maybe its because I'm lazy or maybe unlucky. But I really don't like that kind of feeling :(. I was depressed and even thought of changing my course cause I'm not interested in Mathematics... Not even simple calculations.. I want to do things I like.. I want to take courses which involve things that I'm interested in..

Sad but acted like nothing actually happened throughout the day. I can tell no one but you bloggie.. :(. Sighs.. I don't want these things to happen on me anymore..

Think positive! I'm gonna 'suck' every single beautiful happenings to my life and I want a better life! I will change it no matter how.


 Depressed..

Unlucky day ? LOL.

Ahh :D . I'm back bloggie x) ! So.. I'll be updating a post for 2 days ago ( Monday ). I am accepted  to be in TARC college now as a student and 'enjoying' college life. I'm currently living in a hostel sharing with 12 people. 3 roommates and 9 housemates. Many fun and conflicts happened between. Its sometimes fun and somtimes annoying. That's just a kind of weird feeling. Sighs, many things happened in this 2 months after National service and I couldn't update everything.( An important one to update. I bang-ed into a toyota corolla and made my father pay 2k + for the repairing fees. :(. I drove when I  werr sleepy D: DANGEROUS AND LUCKILY No life are taken away. What a expensive and shocking experience x(. )

     Woke up 8.30a.m as usual for class today at 9.00am. I felt like sleeping more :@ !


     After Building Construction, the gang "checked in" to our hotel again :x. Ate 'reunion' breakfast together :P. Cuz we looked like a big family eating reunion 'breakfast' sitting at a round table enjoying food :x.


After the 'reunion breakfast, I planned to write my essay for AELE but too bad Niicky played the movie called ' The superhero movie' some sort of the parody of spiderman and some other super hero movies.


I laughed so hard xD. But I finally finish it off also during a break after building construction tutorial. 


I LOVE ENGLISH <3. Class finally ended at 5pm.


Went home and watched a Thai movie. It's about a girl who was not pretty and she changed a lot and became a pretty girl afterwards because of a senior in her school.
I love it.





After that movie, housemates and I planned to play badminton. It started at 9 but we went there early. We played like crazy. I like the feeling of exercising.. Maybe it's because I haven't exercise for a long time already. I use all of my energy to play and I got so exhausted. 


We decided to go to McDonald for supper but unfortunately, I bang-ed again into a red Toyota Estima.. I drove through a red light and bang-ed in to the car while I reverse luckily nothing serious happened. Everything were settled peacefully. Panic panic panic D:<. I don't one the toyota corolla incident to happen anymore. Why am I always banging in to toyota ._.. Wonder wonder wonder.


     We thought everything would be fine after that but again.. McDonalds at sunrise is closing at 12 although 24 hours is written there. We didn't notice what happen and Chien Ping suggested us to go to Green Lane McDonalds. I complained that that will be very far away but we went there anway. Melvyn drove there xD. I need to recover from my panic. 
     
     And what the hell.. When we reach, we saw a few groups of people leaving McDonalds and we felt something wrong. We parked and went to see whats actually happening. We saw a notice pasted on the front door stating that all of the McDonalds even 24 hours ones will be closed at 12midnight. We were very disappointed.. McDonalds is clearing something I guess.. We come this far and get this kind of shit ._.. We finally ate our supper in a Malay shop selling all kinds of food. Many of us ate Nasi Pattaya and only one of our girl housemate at normal fried rice. The food was okay and the Milo was great.


Enjoyed xD.
We reached home at about 1.30a.m after dropping Zhi Ren back to his hostel. Me and my roommates felt so tired and we even slept on the floor. We bathed and slept.

I enjoyed this wonderful day :).

Hehe, Good night peeps.
I will continue this blog after today!
Tatas.

4th of April , Late at night . FUTURE PLANS .

Hello to my lovely blog LOL .

It's been a long time since I blogged .
Well , I'm lazy and I almost forgotten about my blog .
This is so so so so so bad of me :( .

OKAY , straight to the point .
It's 2012 now and I'm soon starting my college life ..
Which means ..
No more uniforms , no more ( short hairs as in following the school rule's short hair . )
No more ' Ketat ' rules !
But this is not the reason why I don't choose form 6 and go for TARC .
I mean .. Seriously no way right ..
Deciding my future with this ?

Besides , I've already got over PLKN a.k.a National Service .
From 1st of January to 16th of April . A total of 77 days I suppose .
It was quite a fun experience and of course I kept good memories from there in my head :D .
Although I didn't want AT ALL to go there at first when I receive the message that I'm chosen ~.~ .
/ - \ . I managed to get over all this and the most proud thing of me in PLKN is I didn't even get a MC from the doctor before xD .
I enjoyed Flying fox , kembara halangan and the so called ' Tali Tinggi ' and ' Kayak ' .
But I HATE WIRA JAYA , which we need to go into the jungle and actually stay inside .
But we didn't anyway :D . Thanks to the rain and my 'Komandan' :x .

Okay back to the point .
I'm taking a Technology course in TARC about Quantity Surveying .
Well , the adults said that it's a good course ..
I asked opinions from my cousin that took buildings as a course few years back .
I felt it's quite a good course to take ..
Although the things that I'm gonna study will consist of the subject that I hate the most in school .
MATHS .
But it's only using basic maths .. As in Plus , minus , times and divide .
Not modern maths / Additional maths ..
So it okay for me :x .
I've registered and now waiting for the offer .
The guy who 'served' me told me that it'll arrive 1/2 weeks later .
I've thought of taking Mass Communication / Business Administrations ..
But after listening to people's comments , opinions OR advice ..
I decided to take Quantity Surveying .
God helped me too xD .

SO ....
I'm gonna throw away my laziness and start a seriously new and meaningful life .
Set targets and work hard to achieve them .
I believe in myself .
YOU CAN DO IT !
More and more fresh things are coming into my life and my brain ..
The process of turning into an adult ..
I need to face so many problems that sometimes I really felt my head is bursting ..
:( .
I really want time to go back , but I know this is impossible ..
Face the reality ..
I've got a long journey to go ..
Which means ..
I have no choice but to look forward ..

And and and , something which is not that important .
I changed my name for the last and ever .
My aunt taught me how to count my name in an Indian way . ( Forgotten what is it called . )
So .. This would be last and that's all for today , Good Night :) .

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29th of September . - Car Test Day -

It's been like a week after the trial exam .

So far , I'm only satisfied with my English paper .

Sighs .
The moment of getting back our own results is super duperly scarrie .
For now , I only hope that I can get myself out from the school safely with the graduation certificate .
Pray pray pray pray pray .

By the way ..
I don't really like the way of my friends comparing the results of the exam although I know that it's only some sort of joking way in between us .
It's just ...
Kinda uncomfortable for some reason ..

ANYWAY .
My car test day !!
It's tomorrow , the 29th of Sept !
Hmm ..
I'm seriously nervous now at 10.29 pm ..
Must do well in tomorrow's test .
Getting myself to bed now to make sure that I can focus well .
Good luck to myself !

And Good Night Peeps . :) .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Ma Life :') ?

Guess I'ma start my new life uhh ? :') .

Gambateh AloySama ! :@ .

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